hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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