yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
