She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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