bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
