Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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