I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
