OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
