just tell him i said nine months
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
