Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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