I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
