I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize