So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
