it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
