my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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