Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
