between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
