I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
