just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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