That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
