For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
