Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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