I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
