"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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