Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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