yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
