I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
