Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Randomize
