so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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