Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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