I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Sorry about my life...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
