Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
