I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize