I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
