I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
