let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
