just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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