idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Randomize
