she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
