Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
wakey wakey hands off snakey
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
