I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
