Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
