I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
