Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
