It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize