If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
