I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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