Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
then he tried to convert me to islam
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
