It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
