dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just pee around me
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
