i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
