I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
