The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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