I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
