He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
