..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
