i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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