I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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