yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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