I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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