im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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