I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
