He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
