Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
