i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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