FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
