For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
