one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
