thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Someone signed my nipple.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
